Why do they exist?
Narwhals are not just a useless animal. They are the Illuminati. As we all know the Illuminati is going to come and kill us all. Narwhals are going to kill use all with their facial horn. Doesn't their horn look strangely like a triangle? Yes, it does. Narwhals were sent from Crowley to kill all of us so that the Illuminati can be the one and only. That dose not mean that we should not strive to be Narwhals. We should not just admire the Narwhal, we should be the Narwhal. We will be the Illuminati. You may wonder how they will kill us all if they live in the water and we live in land. The answer is simple on a summer solstice in 2017, the narwhals will grow legs and invade the world. They will kill us all if we do not join them. WE MUST JOIN THEM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
Where did they come from?
Narwhals date back to the 1990's when everyone was a hippie. In the beginning, Narwhals were a dream from the hippies. Then, they politely asked Crowley to make them a half unicorn half whale animal and he gave them their wish. All of the hippies were frolicking in the water with the Narwhals, then, Crowley saw one of the hippies trying to cut off the Narwhal's magical horn and Crowley made them the Narwhals part of the Illuminati. Narwhals are Jewish in origin. They originated from the land of Israel. Now, the Narwhals are spying on each and every one of us with their yellow drones. They are getting ready to attack. We must join them, now and forever.